1. Cold weather leaves behind a painful sting
The worst part is not playing in the cold temperature. Oh, not even close to the worst. The worst part is getting hit on the thigh with the ball – that’s when all hell breaks loose. Your whole body quivers from the shock and you brace yourself and try to look like it’s no big deal until it passes. We’re all guilty of dodging out of the way at some point to escape the cold sting at all costs.
2. Jeans are the devil disguised
Trying to buy jeans is more of a struggle than trying to pick out an outfit for date night. If the waist fits, the thighs are too tight; if the thighs fit, the waist is too big. Why hasn’t someone invented jeans for soccer players yet?!
3. Stairs become your worst fear
On a normal day, stairs are annoying but really no big deal. However, when you face stairs after a practice or game, they feel like the great Mount Everest itself. You might make it up halfway before your legs threaten to give up on you. Nobody else understands the struggle.
4. When waking up, you fear your limbs might fall off
Running your body to the ground makes mornings feel like you have gotten run over by a truck, which makes it really difficult to even think about getting up. You stare at the ceiling for a while with no will to move – partly in fear that one of your limbs will fall off if you move the wrong way. Better to stay lying down than to take that risk.
5. Turf burns take all the pleasure out of showering
Jumping under a nice hot shower should be relaxing and enjoyable, but the second the water touches a turf burn, your mind says: NOPE NOPE NOPE. It could be the biggest or the smallest burn – they all feel just as torturous. No matter how much you brace yourself for the pain; it will always be a shock. Even worse is when you don’t know you have a burn. Now that’s an unwelcome surprise.
6. Pre-wrap can just ruin everything
When your pre-wrap breaks during a game, it might as well be a metaphor for your soul breaking. All of your “whispies” fall in your face and you can’t get another piece until you come off the field. It’s a lose-lose situation.
7. Soccer gear never fits into cars
Cars and soccer gear simply do not agree with each other. Driving in cleats is one thing and trying to sit in the car with your soccer bag is even worse. You might be in a rush so you keep your bag on, thinking that you must be able to fit some way. Wrong. It’s a bubble on your back and it pushes you forward so you can’t fit in the car, giving you no sympathy for the entirety of the car ride home.